shorn

My roommate's dad shaved my head for me on Saturday. I keep startling myself when I walk past mirrors or reach up to scratch my head. And I can't keep from rubbing my head if I'm sitting talking to someone or watching tv. It feels so different. Becky's been on my mind more than ever the last two days. I've been wearing the head scarf that she gave me a few years ago, which is really special/significant to me. I was getting ready to go in to church yesterday, and the thought occured to me that I've shaven my head 'in remembrance' of Becky. It is a constant reminder of her in my life and a symbol to myself and others of the relationship I have with her. I wondered if I have the same kind of apparent 'remembrance' of the Savior in my life. I think I probably do, just not so starkly apparent to me, because they've become more of an integrated part of my life.

It's interesting, too, because my head leads me to remember Christ and His atonement more, also. I realize that my efforts to support Becky are so miniscule in the broad range of experiences she's going through with this. But Christ has experienced it all. I can't appreciate what's going on, but he can. It helps me see how much I can be an instrument in His hands in succoring the people in my life, but I can't help anyone truely without His guidance.