"These are my heartsongs"


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Saturday, May 31, 2008

alli update



Alli became my designated hair-stylist on Monday. We started this new relationship off with a faux-hawk that promises to be truely amazing, given another 1/4 inch or so of growth.


After a long drought of Alli-time, I believe my life will be more blessed with her presence in the near future, as we spent Memorial Day evening together (kinda), and will be going on a road-trip which will morph into a canoe-trip next week!


She was pretty snazzy with her white sunglasses that make Aaron feel "what it probably feels like to be stoned" when he puts them on, and her custom-made candy necklace (that really did taste like perfume...and probably sweat, too...), and her multiple oreo-eatin' skilz.


(just call me perez hilton?)

Friday, May 30, 2008

my substitute kids

I've been working as a sitter for a babysitting referral agency for about a year now. It's been my second part-time job while I'm getting through my last few years of school, and a lifesaver as I prepare for my study abroad trip this summer. I've worked most evenings this month, in addition to my 8-5 job, and brought in some extra moolah to compensate for the 4 weeks that I'll be NOT working in Costa Rica (!)

A few of the families have become regulars for me. My favorites are a 3 year-old and almost-7 year-old who I watched weekly til their mom got too big-pregnant play tennis on Tuesday nights. Now I've been going over most nights after work to be a mother's helper & the two of us divide the time between to two older boys and the almost-2 month-old addition (who is SOO sweet, but needs to be held a lot). The older boys have had a hard time transitioning with the new baby, and it's been a struggle to find a place where they feel they are getting enough love and attention from their parents...and that it's not negative attention when they act out! Needless to say, it's been a rough couple of weeks for their parents as well as myself. I felt frustrated pretty often that I was constantly harping on Mitch, despite looking constantly for opportunities for some positive reinforcement.

One evening last week the parents went on their first 'date' w/ the baby & I kept the boys. Back to old times, right!? But the evening, especially bath time, was somewhat chaotic, and I finally threw my hands up after chasing a moving target of a head that needed to be washed & told Mitch "I'm finished...If your hair is going to get washed, you're going to have to do it yourself." & proceded to get Mack, the 3 year-old, out of the tub. Mitch was a bit taken aback & sat contritely in the tub. A few minutes later I asked if he was ready to try again, and he said he was, & everything went relatively smoothly after that.

After their stories & tucking them in, I said my goodnights & started down the stairs. Mitch said 'Wait! How much longer til you stop coming here?' I wondered in the back of my head if he were counting down the days till he didn't have to see me again, and told him I wasn't sure, but that I was going to Costa Rica in a month, so for sure then. I told them I'd send a postcard when i got there, & they seemed intrigued by the idea. I said "Goodnight" again, and as I moved out of the doorway, Mitch said "Goodnight...love you."

It warmed my heart to know that despite (0r, perhaps because of) the frustrating power struggles and frequent reprimanding that makes up most of our interaction, he knows I'm doing my best to help him & take care of him, and I told him truthfully "I love you, too!"

I'm gonna miss these boys when they get too old for a sitter, or when I move on in my life & am not available to be part of theirs. I think about what they'll be like in high school, or later in life, when I'm watching them. And, with these two, I hope it works out that I can keep up with them for a long while!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

feeling old

I am, for the most part, in a place of acceptance about the fact that I am 26 and have yet to buy a house, finish a bachelor's degree, or be married (much less have any children). Occasionally, however, the reality hits me & I feel like i'm way 'behind'. The week before I turned 24 I had an existential crisis because I hadn't met any of those self-imposed milestones and had always assumed I would have most definitely accomplished before I turned 24! Two years later, I didn't bat an eye at turning 26, and felt great about where I was, even though, on paper, I'm still in the 'same place' of not having accomplished those things and others that I was programmed, as a young LDS, Jane Austen-reading, Disney movie-watching lass, to expect of myself.

But this week it caught up to me again. I found a girl I used to babysit on Facebook. Her brother is serving a mission, her sister graduates high school this year, and she will graduate next year. I remember when she was BORN! And friends who have been married for 5 and 6 years are having babies, and buying houses, and then selling houses. So I had a bit of pity party today. ;)

And to top it all off, the almost-7 year-old who I've been watching most evenings this month, asked me "Did you grow up on Shirley Temple movies?"

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Costa Rica!

In June I'll be leaving the States for the first time, to spend a month in a study abroad program at the University of Costa Rica. I'm SOOO excited! I started trying to go in November of '06, and again last summer; it didn't work out either time, but this summer I'm GOING!!! I bought my plane tickets this week, and got my passport in the mail on Thursday! I got a scholarship, my parents are helping me out, and I'm working 12 hours a day for the next 6 weeks, and it's really gonna happen :) I've wanted to do this for a long time, but didn't really think I could. But the people around me have helped and encouraged and taught me to believe that I could make my dreams happen if I didn't sabotage them, and so, Costa Rica, here I come!!!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

someone's got a lotta time on his hands...

This make me smile every time I watch it.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Fruits of my labors

I'm freakin' proud of my Photo II final portfolio, so I gotta show it off...











My end-of-semester project was juxtaposing yoga positions with architectural form. I'm planning on exploring this more next semester in Photo III, and I'm really excited about it. I did a research paper on Edward Weston, whose work emphasized form a lot, and the relations between human form and other things (like vegetables or seashells or landscapes). I think I'm gonna play with that for a bit. The ballerina image is made from 'sandwich printing' - putting two negatives in the enlarger together to make a new image. And the last three were 'motion' pictures. I was really pleased with the two from the Joe's Liquor sputnick thing, so I had to include them in my portfolio. So that's it!!! I'm done with school til June 26th, when I go to Costa Rica for a month of Spanish classes at La Universidad de Costa Rica. Yeah!!