Random thought

So I was pondering the meaning of life and such this morning on my way to class, and had this thought. Blood is the only bodily fluid that one can't control with one's own thoughts or muscles. You have to actually touch the bleeding area externally in order to make yourself stop bleeding. We can 'hold it in' when we have to go to the bathroom, sniffle our noses, suppress our tears, slurp up our drool, etc., but we can't will ourselves to stop bleeding. I wonder if it's significant that the thing that makes us "mortal" is not controllable by our mind or spirit?

Power greater than myself

I love this-

"I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an athiest. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation."
~Bill W. in Alcoholics Anonymous

House of Cards

I read a book today called A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. It is only about 86 pages, but really very good. Lewis was a 'confirmed bachelor' for many years, and married a woman who died of cancer 4 years later. The book is a small journal of his process of bereavement an effort to keep his faith intact in the face of such a loss.

The past few years in my life have been a process of questioning a good deal of my convictions as well as my personal hopes and desires. I lived for a long time according to the set of goals/beliefs/behaviors that were given to me by other people, but I decided that I didn't want to live like that anymore. It has been a slow, but very rewarding process. Right now I'm smack-dab in the middle of the process of looking at my faith in, and relationship with, God. I'm trying not to hurry the process and 'make' myself come to the 'right' conclusion. I want my relationship with Him to be more meaningful and real this time, rather than doing what I know I should do and feeling what I think a good disciple should feel towards Him.

idiosyncracies

I sleep with 6 pillows on my bed.

I grew up in the backwoods of Oklahoma and raised & slaughtered chickens.

One of my life goals is to tag a public edifice with graffiti...and not get caught :)

I have lived between the 30th & 35 Latitudes all of my life and I love the weather that it affords me.

I think that ballet flats are Autumn's answer to flip-flops.

I have a fish tank that is running, but has no fish in it.

I miss being short enough to climb up the inside of door frames.

I love the smell of ozone.

I am working through my issues.

yo hablo espanol.

I have worked at a newspaper office, a pizza place, a dentist's office, a psychiatrist's office, an OB/GYN clinic, and a law office.

I used to be a ballerina.

Every car I have owned thus far has been a Toyota.

I know that the atonement of Jesus Christ works.

My favorite chairs are a papasan chair and a lovesac.

I buy myself flowers when I go grocery shopping.

LOST is pretty much the best show ever. The Office is a close second.

The second toe on my right foot is slightly longer than my big toe. Supposedly this is a sign of royalty.

I love scarves.

I get road rage.

My favorite band is Counting Crows.

I like to take deep breaths.

I can touch my nose with my tongue.

I want a digital SLR camera.

I am a left-handed Aries.

I am a 12-step-er.

I file my bills and papers...sometimes.

I don't pop my knuckles, but I pop my wrists and my back multiple times a day.

I am living my life from a choiceful rather than compulsive perspective.

I can run.

I dream in color and stereo.

I have good friends.

My favorite books growing up were the Little House on the Prairie series, the Chronicles of Narnia, and the Anne of Green Gables set.

I talk with my hands.

I am DEFINITELY worth it!

So are You.

I clench my jaw.

I have married off 6 roommates and moved 10 times in the past 8 years.

I used to have a very real fear of aliens.

Audrey Hepburn is my hero.

So is Alana Davis.

I have questioned my faith and embraced it afterward.

I love rolling down grassy hills.

I can salsa- and swing-dance.

I have a history of dysfunctional relationships, and healthy relationships. Lately they have been much more healthy.

I like fun socks, but prefer none at all.

I consider grammar and languages to be among my hobbies.

I think that the best love songs are less than 3 minutes long. My favorites: For You by Duncan Sheik, and I Wanna Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler.

I have a front-loading washer and dryer, and sometimes I get mesmerized by the spinning.

I know when to follow and how to lead.

My traffic pet-peeve is people who don't use their turn signals.

I am preparing to act in my first play.

I believe in feng shui.

Someday soon I am going to go sky-diving.

Preventative maintenance

I used to run until I crashed, and I realized a few weeks ago that I haven't crashed in a long time. It's not because I haven't been running, but rather that I've been resting also and changing my oil and checking tire pressure and turning off the lights when the engine isn't running [ ;-) ]
I've learned how to practice preventative maintenance in my life, and that helps me keep going even when things get tough. I'm filling up my gas tank before it becomes depleted. I think I'm actually more productive now than I have been in a very long time.

I ran a 5k last month. My time was 33:00, which isn't anything amazing, but I haven't run regularly in over a year, and the last 5k I ran (three years ago) was in 30:34...and that was when I was running every day and training for a half marathon I felt a huge difference in the dynamics of how I performed and how I felt about myself. My body is way healthier than ever before, as well as my mind, and it's showing!

The difference

Patience is what makes up the difference between personal intention and following God's will.